By Paul Inyang. Maryland. USA.
I watched a movie recently, that left me without any doubt—in pain and wondering very much about certain aspects of our culture. I would recommend the movie toeveryone—both women and especially men. It is a difficult but worthwhile watch. The title of the movie is “DRY”—written, acted and produced by Stephanie Linus. Its probably one of the best movies I have watched all year. Considering the subject matter, I would have expected the movie hall to be full but to my chagrin, they were probably seven (7) other people in the theatre with me. This story is riveting and it tore at my emotions and left me raw—considering, I have never met a movie I have not slept through. The story was about the origins of Vesicovaginal Fistula (VVF) in our culture, utilizing a very familiar cultural frame of reference.These are stories we would rather not tell ourselves because some of us still subscribe to vestiges of a culture that support the process that brings this plague about. Imagine that a 12 year old girl, is married off to a man, clearly in his fifties-sixties, with three other wives. Her “mother” willingly gives her away, to this man who cannot understand the sin in marrying a child much-less understanding that raping her is one of the worst sins he could commit on this earth. As a result, the girl becomes pregnant and is forced to have a baby (which dies) and the condition leaves her estranged from her community and an unrepentant and unforgiving society that also ostracizes her. Additionally, the very man that is the source of the trouble “returns” her to her family—who in turn (her father) reject her.
I hope I am not ruining the movie for others but these are just nuggets which at minimum gives you a glimpse into the thinking behind the movie, which is a rich depiction of real life story, that goes more in-depth than this. Only a Nigerian could have told the story. Sadly, though the story is based on the culture of the people in Northern Nigeria the practice is not limited or unique to this geographical area—it happens all over the country. So-much-so that what would be considered and is pedophilia is common practice—even some of our legislators are known to engage in it. There is a cruel mix of ignorance and total disregard to the humanity of women folk and children, who are robbed of their childhood and damaged at a tender age. Women in this condition often cannot control their bladder discharges and most are susceptible to septicemia and without surgery live a totally woeful life. All kinds of myths are attached to the condition ranging from witchcraft to adultery—all bogus. Wow, could this still be tolerated with no significant response from the government? Many of us see these things and look the other way very sure that because we are educated it would never happen to us.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have heard about VVF before but have never seen it up-close. I was left literally in tears, when I consider the sheer magnitude of the problem in our culture. It is almost like feeding the beast—everything is hush, hush. There are a few organizations that are offering help, like Nka Uforo Iban, a socio-cultural group in the Washington DC metropolitan area, USA. Most of the work is on treatment, as should be the case but that of awareness and education appears to be missing. I have asked and am yet to see any legislative agenda on such a critical subject. In the mean time, little girls are loosing their lives because of the uncontained and unchecked avarice of men who would rather maintain their culture and “religious” practices as barbaric and inhumane as it is. When does a culture out-live its relevance? Must we be stuck in the dark ages, when the rest of the world is moving unto bigger and better things. Yes, there are things we should never emulate but what is the redeeming characteristic in this particular aspect of our culture??? We must find a way to act on behalf of our children and our mothers. Those who are responsible for carrying out these dastardly act must be educated about the full impact of their egregious actions. There should be a good deterrent for these practices through the law. People who defile young children in the name of culture should go to jail. Beyond treating these women there should be an effort to sensitize our people. Jeez….it must come to an end. God help us all.